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Berna Merih

Life is all about choices!

Updated: Nov 16, 2021

Which voice do you choose to

listen to?



“I am not what has happened to me. I am what I choose to become.” – Carl Jung

Life is all about choices. I have been thinking a lot lately about the choices we are making in our everyday lives. Every choice we make turns out with a different outcome. As Mahatma Gandhi says “The future depends on what we do in the present.” So, our choices in the present shape our future. Then, let’s think about how we make those choices. Are we aware of all the drives which lead to a specific choice? Did we ask ourselves “What is in it for me?” Or did we choose because some voice in our head was telling us to do so?


As I started reading “The Untethered Soul” by Michael A. Singer, an awareness occurred to me. The book starts with “the voice inside your head.” Familiar, right? We all have one, the voice that narrates the world for us. That voice keeps talking and talking, and we think that we are that voice. That voice is the voice of the mind and mostly turns into being our “inner critic.” For the inner critic, we are stuck, we are never good enough, we have problems, we are weak, we feel anxious, and we need to spend too much effort on everything we do. When the world does not give you what you expect, the voice becomes louder and louder because that voice likes problems as well as to complain and to judge. That is your ego. When you listen to your inner critic, your choices come from a state of fear and urgency. Failure is inevitable when you are captivated by your inner critic.


Michael Singer says that “there is nothing more important to true growth than realizing that you are not the voice of the mind- you are the one who hears it.” If we are not that negative voice we hear all the time, then who are we? Who we are is the other party who hears that voice or silently witnesses the existence of the inner critic. That “awareness,” “the witness” is your “inner ally.” There are other names for this consciousness; “inner guidance,” “inner wisdom,” “inner child.” The inner ally reminds you that you have choices, you need to focus on solutions, you can progress with a growth mindset, you have strengths and you have the power of YET. With less effort, you can enjoy the journey. That silent voice comes from your heart. So, listen to your heart! Your choices lead to success when you choose to connect with your inner ally which speaks the language of your heart.


Our heart is an important energy center and it influences everything. It has its independent nervous system and is in constant communication with our brain. Our heart sends more information to the brain than the information it receives from the brain. The more we are connected to our hearts, the more we become closer to our authentic selves. We feel compassion, gratitude, love, courage, and passion. We feel powerful and supported. When these positive feelings prevail, we can think more clearly, we feel free and resourceful. The messages from the heart affect our brain. That is why we have mindfulness practices that align our mind, body, and soul. Although the term is mindfulness, I would like to call it “heartfulness.”


We can live in harmony when we are happy with our choices. Today, we can start by choosing not to get stuck in our heads but to connect more with our hearts. When we live in our heads, the inner critic becomes active. When one connects with the heart, the inner ally shows the way to success.


So, which voice calls you to success, and which one do you choose to listen to?



Inner Critic Inner Ally

You are stuck! What are your choices?

You are going to fail! You are not there YET!

Problem-oriented Solution-oriented

Fear, judgement, guilt Love, compassion, trust

Negative mindset Growth mindset

Focus on what was wrong Focus on learning

Feeds weaknesses Feeds strengths

Anxiety for the outcome Enjoy the journey

Too much effort Effortlessness

Sense of urgency Sense of ease and flow


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